I'm lying here in bed, watching a movie. Playing games on my iPad, and checking out Facebook. I have my dog snoring away at my side. My oldest cat Zoey (she's 14!!!!) laying on my shoulder purring away! Newest kitty Jasper lying on the bed next tonZoey. I lay here thinking, it doesn't get much better then this. Then it hits me that David isn't here anymore. How am I supposed to be happy with out him? And now instead of content, I'm crying. And Zoey is licking the tears off of my face, what cat does that I ask you? Dogs yes, but cats? I don't have a bad life. Yes I'm sick, and on tons of medications. But I have doctors who are trying to help me heal, the best they can. I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and food to eat. I have the best friends a person could ever ask for. I also have an excellent mother, and a cousin who is truly a blessing in my life.
Yet the hole David has left in it. Six years later it feels just as big as the day he died. He taught me to love. He taught me that I can be loved. And now I don't know what do with all of those feelings. I just miss him so much!! I don't want to be that bitter old lady who grows old alone. But I also don't know how to get outside my own head. David came to me. He charmed his way right into my life, and I didn't even know he was doing it until it was too late. I just want that again. That isn't to much to ask, is it?
