18 years ago.....

I got married 18 years ago, today. I never thought I would get married. Who would want me? I am fat and ugly and if you listen to at least one of my sisters, I'm extremely selfish. But then there was David. I'm not sure really how long we had known each other before he asked me out. We went on our first date on April 19, 1997. We eloped to Las Vegas on May 31, 1997. Many people thought we had to get married. Furthest thing from the truth. We just didn't want to wait. And I was already afraid of losing him. One day he was going to wake up and realize he could do better, I was convinced of that. I guess one thing I can be grateful for is that he never left me, he died on Oct. 14, 2009. He was my once in a lifetime. I am so completely and utterly miserable without him! Somehow I need to learn to accept that I will be alone now for the rest of my life. I just don't see how I could get lucky twice in my life. I miss him so much, as much if not more today then when he died. I just want to be with my Bubba again! :(