I was raised on television....

as far back as I can remember tv has always been a part of my life. Probably the most stabile part of my life. Yes shows come and go, but you understand that. It isn't like they leave you on purpose. If you grew up as a child of television your reality is different then others. Each 30 minute or 60 minute tv show has a beginning, a middle, and indeed and ending. And unless it's to be continued it ends on a happy note. Even when a death is shown on tv it's neat and clean. You cry, then you get over it and get on with your life. Nothing like the mess real life often is. TV is just this neat little package. They want you to feel good when you watch it so you will keep coming back for more.

Most tv shows are as far from reality as you can get. it's just entertainment, not real life.

Now I am what many people call a sensitive person. Sometimes I don't know when my emotions stop and the characters start. For example the Harry Potter series. I cried with each death, like they really were my friends or my family. The ending was done in a way that we were given closure. Good won over evil, there were causualties,  but you can't get through a war like that without some of the good guys dying. It's unrealistic. Just now I read the following:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alannabennett/17-tumblr-posts-about-harry-potter-that-will-make-you-weep

And weep I did! Jo Rowling is an excellent writer, she made us love her characters, the good and the bad. And to read that and think in terms of how Harry would have continued to struggle, even though Tom Riddle had been defeated. To know he has scares inside just like I do. It proves how real these characters are to the millions of us who love them.

Death happens, no one gets out alive. And tv does make death seem better then it really is. Death is hard and messy and often tragic. You don't go from being one half of something to just going on by yourself as if nothing happened. You don't just wake up the day after the funeral and go on as if you aren't broken into a million pieces.

There are times when being as sensitive as I am sucks. I feel everything, way to much of everything. I also worry about everything. I wish I could let go, but that wouldn't be me. The fact that I am sitting here sobbing over both Harry Potter and my husbands death, makes me who I am. I would rather have to big of a heart then no heart at all!