3rd blog prompt

Three things that scare me, and why? I'm afraid of growing old alone. Of never being part of a family. Of never feeling loved for me, for who I am. Okay so all three things that scare me tie in together. The fear of being alone, of not fitting in. I know I'm not the only person who has this fear. And that should bring me some comfort, but it doesn't. I never thought I'd get married. But I did. But because he cheated on me it made me doubt everything. I never believed he loved me just for me. I thought I was just a way for him to get away from his parents. But by all accounts he loved me. I wish I believed it was true, but I don't. I'm just not loveable. I'm to emotional, I'm to needy, to clingy. I'm a huge turn off, I know I am. But he did marry me, so we were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to have a family together, even if that meant adopting. But he died on me. So my biggest fear of growing old alone, never having a family of my own. They are very real fears. And the never being loved for me. Well Chad again proved I'm not very loveable. He was just using me, he needed someone who would do anything he wanted, and I was just stupid enough to do it. I just want someone to love me for me, someone to grow old with. Someone that I still might be able to have a family with.