24) Something you miss.
If it were someone I miss then that would be my David. But it's something. Well it's still going to tie into my David. I miss living in California. Not all of, but some very specific parts. I miss being able to go to Disney land any time we wanted. We had annual passes the last few years we lived there. It was great!
I miss being able to go up to Big Bear. We only went a few times but it was one of my favorite places in California. It reminded me of where I am from. Very similar really to Nashville, IN now that I really think about it. Also a very romantic place to spend a weekend!
I miss going to the Rennissaince (sp?) fair. We went every year. The last one even in costumes that I made. I just love that kind of stuff. Going back in time. So much fun and so glad we discovered it!
Finally I miss Santa Monica. It's the other place we would go when we were bored. It's where we went on our first date. We could sit on the pier for hours. Just talking and watching the guys fishing. Never did see any of them catch anything. But when they would shine their flashlights on the water we could see some rather large fishes swimming around. I love the water and would have loved to be able to afford a place right on the beach!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Writing challenge day 23
23) A family member you dislike.
This one just feels mean. I feel like I shouldn't talk about a family member I don't like. It just feels rude. It doesn't mean there aren't family members I'm not close to, it just feels wrong to dislike a member of your family. So I am going to just write about a family member I'm not close to. And actually there are several and while I would like to think it's their fault we aren't close. It really isn't anyone's fault. You don't pick your family, you pick your friends. So there are just several that while I wish we were close, we just aren't. I don't know if it's our personalities, or just the lives we lead. But we just aren't close. Yet there are other family members that I am extremely close to. So I guess it all is the way it's supposed to be in the end. God knows what he is doing!
This one just feels mean. I feel like I shouldn't talk about a family member I don't like. It just feels rude. It doesn't mean there aren't family members I'm not close to, it just feels wrong to dislike a member of your family. So I am going to just write about a family member I'm not close to. And actually there are several and while I would like to think it's their fault we aren't close. It really isn't anyone's fault. You don't pick your family, you pick your friends. So there are just several that while I wish we were close, we just aren't. I don't know if it's our personalities, or just the lives we lead. But we just aren't close. Yet there are other family members that I am extremely close to. So I guess it all is the way it's supposed to be in the end. God knows what he is doing!
Monday, November 23, 2015
Writing challenge day 22
22) your morning routine.
I am not a morning person! I do not wake up easily and it takes hours for me to even feel awake. When my alarm goes off I hit the snooze button repeatedly. I need that time to come out of sleep. Once I'm up the bathroom is my first stop. After that I feed the dog and then the cats if they ate all their food from the night before. I check their water dish also. Then I have to decide if I'm hungry and if I am what do I want. Sometimes I just go back and lay in bed watching tv and/or playing on my iPad. If I'm hungry I make whatever and then watch tv while eating. About a half hour before I need to be to work I start getting dressed. Though if I am just putting my hair up I can wait another ten minutes to start getting ready. That is pretty much my morning routine.
I am not a morning person! I do not wake up easily and it takes hours for me to even feel awake. When my alarm goes off I hit the snooze button repeatedly. I need that time to come out of sleep. Once I'm up the bathroom is my first stop. After that I feed the dog and then the cats if they ate all their food from the night before. I check their water dish also. Then I have to decide if I'm hungry and if I am what do I want. Sometimes I just go back and lay in bed watching tv and/or playing on my iPad. If I'm hungry I make whatever and then watch tv while eating. About a half hour before I need to be to work I start getting dressed. Though if I am just putting my hair up I can wait another ten minutes to start getting ready. That is pretty much my morning routine.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Writing challenge day 21
21) Your zodiac/horoscope and whether you think it fits you.
My sign is Pisces.
If you go to Wikipedia you can read a full description of what Pisces is considered to be. I am going to post just part of the description.
Western astrologers assert that Pisceans are perceptive, emotional,[39][68] and receptive.[69][69] Notorious for being highly sensitive,[70][60][71] they are also said to be desperately afraid of ridicule,[70] as the sign is deemed "unfortunate."[60][72][37] Pisces are a mutable sign, which makes them receptive, and susceptible to change.[44][73] As a bicorporeal sign, astrologists believe that events in Pisceans' lives are prominently repeated, suggesting that they may marry several times and that misfortunes never come singly. However, according to astrologer Max Heindel, the Piscean's "good fortune also comes in multiple."[67]
The parts about being highly sensitive and desperately afraid of ridicule is so spot on for me. I feel everything, way to much, all the time. I am so afraid of ridicule, it's why even when I know I'm right I often don't say anything, for fear of really being wrong and then being made fun of. It's why when I was in school I hated answering questions in class. It's why even at work I shy away from anything that could make me look bad.
So for the most part I do feel I fit with my sign. I don't necessarily believe in daily horoscopes. Things can change in a blink of an eye.
My sign is Pisces.
If you go to Wikipedia you can read a full description of what Pisces is considered to be. I am going to post just part of the description.
Western astrologers assert that Pisceans are perceptive, emotional,[39][68] and receptive.[69][69] Notorious for being highly sensitive,[70][60][71] they are also said to be desperately afraid of ridicule,[70] as the sign is deemed "unfortunate."[60][72][37] Pisces are a mutable sign, which makes them receptive, and susceptible to change.[44][73] As a bicorporeal sign, astrologists believe that events in Pisceans' lives are prominently repeated, suggesting that they may marry several times and that misfortunes never come singly. However, according to astrologer Max Heindel, the Piscean's "good fortune also comes in multiple."[67]
The parts about being highly sensitive and desperately afraid of ridicule is so spot on for me. I feel everything, way to much, all the time. I am so afraid of ridicule, it's why even when I know I'm right I often don't say anything, for fear of really being wrong and then being made fun of. It's why when I was in school I hated answering questions in class. It's why even at work I shy away from anything that could make me look bad.
So for the most part I do feel I fit with my sign. I don't necessarily believe in daily horoscopes. Things can change in a blink of an eye.
Writing challenge day 20
20) put your player on shuffle and write your thoughts on the first three songs that play.
1- Superheroes by The Script. I love this song, both the lyrics as well as the melody. When I listen to it it gives me hope. It's what we all want isn't it? Either to be a Superhero or to have someone be our Superhero. Part of the lyrics is about making it right. I love that. I want the world to be good and right!
2- See You Again with Wiz Khalifa. This song brings out a lot of emotion in me. It makes me think about my husband and how he is gone from my life. But that he is in Heaven and how because of that I will see him again. Great song for anyone who has lost someone they love.
3- We Rode in Trucks by Luke Bryan. Definitely a country son! Talking about where he grew up. I like the visual I get in my head. Makes me think where I am from, who I am, is a lot like him. Deep down we are all more alike then we are different.
1- Superheroes by The Script. I love this song, both the lyrics as well as the melody. When I listen to it it gives me hope. It's what we all want isn't it? Either to be a Superhero or to have someone be our Superhero. Part of the lyrics is about making it right. I love that. I want the world to be good and right!
2- See You Again with Wiz Khalifa. This song brings out a lot of emotion in me. It makes me think about my husband and how he is gone from my life. But that he is in Heaven and how because of that I will see him again. Great song for anyone who has lost someone they love.
3- We Rode in Trucks by Luke Bryan. Definitely a country son! Talking about where he grew up. I like the visual I get in my head. Makes me think where I am from, who I am, is a lot like him. Deep down we are all more alike then we are different.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Writing challenge day 19
19) Five fears that you have.
My biggest fear is dying alone. Not just like no one is there, but that I would have no family or friends with me at the end. Having lost my husband and us never being able to have any children has just made that fear worse
I am afraid of birds, or anything really that flies. That can attack you and you won't even see it coming. They have beaks and claws. It's why I have never watched "The Birds" it would freak me out.
I am very claustrophobic. Mostly in crowds. I feel like I will be crushed by the people. Probably came from something like that happening when I went to a rock concert when I was a teenager.
I am also afraid of being buried alive. I know that is similar to my claustrophobia, but not exactly. And I'm not sure where this fear comes from. But it is something that is always there in the back of my mind.
I guess my other big fear is fear of failure. It's why I don't do things. It's why I keep myself shut in so much. You can't fail if you don't try, so just don't try.
My biggest fear is dying alone. Not just like no one is there, but that I would have no family or friends with me at the end. Having lost my husband and us never being able to have any children has just made that fear worse
I am afraid of birds, or anything really that flies. That can attack you and you won't even see it coming. They have beaks and claws. It's why I have never watched "The Birds" it would freak me out.
I am very claustrophobic. Mostly in crowds. I feel like I will be crushed by the people. Probably came from something like that happening when I went to a rock concert when I was a teenager.
I am also afraid of being buried alive. I know that is similar to my claustrophobia, but not exactly. And I'm not sure where this fear comes from. But it is something that is always there in the back of my mind.
I guess my other big fear is fear of failure. It's why I don't do things. It's why I keep myself shut in so much. You can't fail if you don't try, so just don't try.
Writing challenge day 18
18) Your favorite color and why?
My favorite color is green, I like both lime green and a softer maybe sage type green. Not sure why it's my favorite. Growing up it was always read. But sometime after I got married I realized green had become my favorite color. More and more of my shirts were green. It's just a pretty color.
My favorite color is green, I like both lime green and a softer maybe sage type green. Not sure why it's my favorite. Growing up it was always read. But sometime after I got married I realized green had become my favorite color. More and more of my shirts were green. It's just a pretty color.
Writing challenge day 17
I know I just did day 16 but I am now several days behind so I am going to try and catch up.
17) A quote you try to live by.
Luke 6:31
31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
This is not my favorite bible verse, but this is the one I try to live by. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. Life isn't fair. I was told that my entire life growing up. But if we all treated each other more fairly then life my just be a little more fair. This quote speaks to me so much right now with everything that is going on in this world. Evil thrives on hate and fear. That has been a fact since the beginning of time. Love and compassion though can stop evil in its tracks! Am I naive enough to think evil can be completely removed from our lives? No, the devil will always find a way to plant his seeds of fear and hate. But if we stay in the light, if we stay the course that God has given us. Then in the end that is all that matters. Jesus died on that cross for my sins, and for your sins. We now have a responsibility to do everything in our power to show gods love to all of hai children, whether they choose to believe in him or not. Love makes the world a lighter place to live in. Fear and hate dooms us all to darkness. This is not the life God wants for his children. Do to others as you would have them do to you! Love thy neighbor, thy Christian neighbor, thy Jewish neighbor, they Muslim neighbor, thy atheist neighbor, thy agnostic neighbor, thy white neighbor, thy black neighbor, thy Hispanic neighbor, thy female neighbor, thy male neighbor, thy liberal neighbor, thy conservative neighbor, and so on and so forth. Show love and compassion, not fear and hate!
17) A quote you try to live by.
Luke 6:31
31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
This is not my favorite bible verse, but this is the one I try to live by. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. Life isn't fair. I was told that my entire life growing up. But if we all treated each other more fairly then life my just be a little more fair. This quote speaks to me so much right now with everything that is going on in this world. Evil thrives on hate and fear. That has been a fact since the beginning of time. Love and compassion though can stop evil in its tracks! Am I naive enough to think evil can be completely removed from our lives? No, the devil will always find a way to plant his seeds of fear and hate. But if we stay in the light, if we stay the course that God has given us. Then in the end that is all that matters. Jesus died on that cross for my sins, and for your sins. We now have a responsibility to do everything in our power to show gods love to all of hai children, whether they choose to believe in him or not. Love makes the world a lighter place to live in. Fear and hate dooms us all to darkness. This is not the life God wants for his children. Do to others as you would have them do to you! Love thy neighbor, thy Christian neighbor, thy Jewish neighbor, they Muslim neighbor, thy atheist neighbor, thy agnostic neighbor, thy white neighbor, thy black neighbor, thy Hispanic neighbor, thy female neighbor, thy male neighbor, thy liberal neighbor, thy conservative neighbor, and so on and so forth. Show love and compassion, not fear and hate!
Writing challenge day 16.
16) Bullet your day.
- hit alarm numerous times before finally getting up.
- go to the bathroom.
- feed cats and dog.
- decide to have some oatmeal even though I'm not hungry for anything. So I start the tea kettle.
- go lay back down in bed and play on iPad while waiting for water to come to a boil.
- make the oatmeal.
- eat some of the oatmeal, then decide I really really wasn't hungry.
- attempt to tame hair, then get dressed for work.
- take my pills.
- go to work
- get set up at my station then work with customers off and on all day.
- today felt like an off kind of day for me. Nothing happened per say at work. But I think because my body is really hurting everything just felt off. Also this is the first day where it was pretty much just me and all the people who transferred from the other branch. I kind of felt like I wasn't at my job. Know what I mean? I miss my co-workers!
- decided I didn't feel up to cooking anything for dinner. The only thing I seem to be hungry for is turkey/club sandwiches. But they get pricey, so I settled on using a coupon at Arby's.
- came home and ate dinner.
- fed the cats and the dog.
- took a shower
- made some iced tea and filled up the pets water dish.
- took my evening pills.
- then watching tv while playing on the iPad.
- just typed this.
- hit alarm numerous times before finally getting up.
- go to the bathroom.
- feed cats and dog.
- decide to have some oatmeal even though I'm not hungry for anything. So I start the tea kettle.
- go lay back down in bed and play on iPad while waiting for water to come to a boil.
- make the oatmeal.
- eat some of the oatmeal, then decide I really really wasn't hungry.
- attempt to tame hair, then get dressed for work.
- take my pills.
- go to work
- get set up at my station then work with customers off and on all day.
- today felt like an off kind of day for me. Nothing happened per say at work. But I think because my body is really hurting everything just felt off. Also this is the first day where it was pretty much just me and all the people who transferred from the other branch. I kind of felt like I wasn't at my job. Know what I mean? I miss my co-workers!
- decided I didn't feel up to cooking anything for dinner. The only thing I seem to be hungry for is turkey/club sandwiches. But they get pricey, so I settled on using a coupon at Arby's.
- came home and ate dinner.
- fed the cats and the dog.
- took a shower
- made some iced tea and filled up the pets water dish.
- took my evening pills.
- then watching tv while playing on the iPad.
- just typed this.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Writing challenge day 15.
15) Three pet peeves.
One would definitely be people who are know it alls. Who think you need them to tell you what to think, or how to do your job. The second one would be people who are prejudiced. Under out skin we are all the same. The color of your skin, your height, weight, sex, religion, or lack of religion, is not reason enough for people to treat each other with hate. To try and make someone else feel inferior. We are all in this thing together and no one gets out alive! My third one would be people who are two faced. Don't talk crap behind my back but then try and act like you are my friend to my face. I'm far to trusting and get hurt way to much. Those would be my top three pet peeves!
One would definitely be people who are know it alls. Who think you need them to tell you what to think, or how to do your job. The second one would be people who are prejudiced. Under out skin we are all the same. The color of your skin, your height, weight, sex, religion, or lack of religion, is not reason enough for people to treat each other with hate. To try and make someone else feel inferior. We are all in this thing together and no one gets out alive! My third one would be people who are two faced. Don't talk crap behind my back but then try and act like you are my friend to my face. I'm far to trusting and get hurt way to much. Those would be my top three pet peeves!
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Writing challenge day 14
14) Your life in seven years.
I honestly have no clue. I try not to plan to far out in the future. Let's face it we don't really have any control over our lives. One day you can be just bopping along and then blam! You could lose your job, get sick, lose your spouse. You just never know. Do I dream about my future? Sure. And if we are just talking dreams I hope I have found someone to share my life with. This whole being a widow sucks royally! Other then that I just hope I am as happy as I can be!
I honestly have no clue. I try not to plan to far out in the future. Let's face it we don't really have any control over our lives. One day you can be just bopping along and then blam! You could lose your job, get sick, lose your spouse. You just never know. Do I dream about my future? Sure. And if we are just talking dreams I hope I have found someone to share my life with. This whole being a widow sucks royally! Other then that I just hope I am as happy as I can be!
Monday, November 16, 2015
WWJD?
I have been pondering a lot of things this weekend. Ever since the news of the terrorist attack in Paris broke on Friday night. Why is there so much evil in the world? What should I as a Christian think and do about all of this? What should my country be doing about this?
Since I am a Christian my thoughts have been, What Would Jesus Do? He would just know the right thing to do. His love for ever human life is so much more then we mere mortals can even begin to comprehend.
The why is there so much evil in the world is also easy for me to figure out as a Christian. The evil in the world is because of the devil. He wants to destroy us. He wants us to lose our faith in God. The devil wants to destroy every aspect of our lives. And for me one of the easiest ways for the devil to turn me away from my faith is by me not doing what God has taught me to do.
I know there is a great fear among many many people in America about letting any Syrian refugees into our country. It's just a Trojan horse, they are sneaking in to kill us. All Muslims must be killed because there is no such thing as a good Muslim. All Muslims want to wipe out Christianity. As long as any refugees are in this country we are not safe.
First of all, guess what folks, we aren't safe regardless. How many people throughout the history of our country have been killed by so called Christians? How many have been killed by people of other religions, or of no religion at all? This is our temporary home. If you believe in Heaven then you know your days on this earth are numbered.
We are here to spread the word of God. The best way to spread that word is through love and compassion. By being examples. Why would anyone want to become a Christian when all they see is fear and hate? There are days when I see the hate being spewed all over the internet that I wonder
why I am even a Christian. But I am because I love God and he loves me. Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and for every other human being ever! All he asks is that you believe in him. He doesn't make you, he allows each and everyone of us to make up our own minds.
How can I be a Christian and turn my back on people in need? What would Jesus do?
The following is from Genesis 18:16 - 33
22 The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord.[d] 23 Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?24 What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare[e]the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? 25 Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”
Since I am a Christian my thoughts have been, What Would Jesus Do? He would just know the right thing to do. His love for ever human life is so much more then we mere mortals can even begin to comprehend.
The why is there so much evil in the world is also easy for me to figure out as a Christian. The evil in the world is because of the devil. He wants to destroy us. He wants us to lose our faith in God. The devil wants to destroy every aspect of our lives. And for me one of the easiest ways for the devil to turn me away from my faith is by me not doing what God has taught me to do.
I know there is a great fear among many many people in America about letting any Syrian refugees into our country. It's just a Trojan horse, they are sneaking in to kill us. All Muslims must be killed because there is no such thing as a good Muslim. All Muslims want to wipe out Christianity. As long as any refugees are in this country we are not safe.
First of all, guess what folks, we aren't safe regardless. How many people throughout the history of our country have been killed by so called Christians? How many have been killed by people of other religions, or of no religion at all? This is our temporary home. If you believe in Heaven then you know your days on this earth are numbered.
We are here to spread the word of God. The best way to spread that word is through love and compassion. By being examples. Why would anyone want to become a Christian when all they see is fear and hate? There are days when I see the hate being spewed all over the internet that I wonder
why I am even a Christian. But I am because I love God and he loves me. Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and for every other human being ever! All he asks is that you believe in him. He doesn't make you, he allows each and everyone of us to make up our own minds.
How can I be a Christian and turn my back on people in need? What would Jesus do?
The following is from Genesis 18:16 - 33
22 The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord.[d] 23 Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?24 What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare[e]the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? 25 Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”
26 The Lord said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”
27 Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, 28 what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five people?”
“If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.”
29 Once again he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?”
He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it.”
30 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?”
He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”
31 Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?”
He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.”
32 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?”
He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.”
33 When the Lord had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doesn't that section make it clear? If there are even ten God would save the whole. These refugees may or may not be Christians. But what if our love, our compassion towards them makes them decide to become Christian? What if we just sentenced them to hell? When instead we could have opened the gates of Heaven for them? Do I think some if not a lot of bad people will enter this country to try and harm us? Of course I do. But evil will find a way in, it always does. But I am not going to allow my fear to make me stop from being the person God wants me to be. I want to show the love of God by example. If I die because of this, then I have died for my faith. I will not kill or sentence anyone to death because of my faith or my fear.
Should these extremists be eliminated? Yes, I take the thought of any death with a heavy heart, but those who are truly evil? They need to be stopped. But stopping innocent people from seeking shelter because of the potential for evil? Well that makes us exactly what the terrorists want their followers to see us as. If we can't open our hearts to them when they need us the most, why should they see us as anything but cruel and evil?
This is going to sound corny but I have been watching Girl Meets World on the Disney channel. One of the things Cory has taught his students is that people change people. Do you want to change them for the good? Or do you want to allow them to change you for the bad?
WWJD?
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Writing challenge day 13.
13) Your commute to/from work or school.
This is a completely boring one. I turn right out of my driveway and go about six blocks. Make a left turn and I'm at work. I love it! I have worked many other jobs throughout my life where I have driven at least a half hour in each direction give or take. Dealing with other traffic and worst yet, snow and ice! True there is still some traffic. And if you live in Indiana you can't completely avoid snow and ice. But this short of a commute makes it a whole lot less stressful!
At some point I want to articulate my thoughts on the violence happening around the world. I just haven't figured out how to say what I am feeling. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with the people in Paris, and every other community that is dealing with these horrors. Living where I do it all feels so distant, so unreal. In that way I am very lucky.
This is a completely boring one. I turn right out of my driveway and go about six blocks. Make a left turn and I'm at work. I love it! I have worked many other jobs throughout my life where I have driven at least a half hour in each direction give or take. Dealing with other traffic and worst yet, snow and ice! True there is still some traffic. And if you live in Indiana you can't completely avoid snow and ice. But this short of a commute makes it a whole lot less stressful!
At some point I want to articulate my thoughts on the violence happening around the world. I just haven't figured out how to say what I am feeling. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with the people in Paris, and every other community that is dealing with these horrors. Living where I do it all feels so distant, so unreal. In that way I am very lucky.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Writing challenge day 12
12) Two words/phrases that make you laugh.
I honestly can't think of a word or phrase that makes me laugh. People sure, the things they do or say. Animal videos and the like. But a word or a phrase? Nope, can't think of two specific ones. Maybe when I was younger certain words in my childish nature would make me laugh, but that has been a long time!
How about words that make me happy? God, church, family, friends, Harry Potter, my cousin Becky, my dearest friends Dawn, Kathy and Jody? All of those things/people make me happy. Though I have to say on a daily basis at work Jody always made me laugh, always! Sadly today was her last day so the laughter for me has left the building.
I honestly can't think of a word or phrase that makes me laugh. People sure, the things they do or say. Animal videos and the like. But a word or a phrase? Nope, can't think of two specific ones. Maybe when I was younger certain words in my childish nature would make me laugh, but that has been a long time!
How about words that make me happy? God, church, family, friends, Harry Potter, my cousin Becky, my dearest friends Dawn, Kathy and Jody? All of those things/people make me happy. Though I have to say on a daily basis at work Jody always made me laugh, always! Sadly today was her last day so the laughter for me has left the building.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Writing challenge day 11
11) Your current relationship; if single, discuss that too.
I am currently a widow. I have been for just over six years. I hate it! I never thought I would get married. But then there was David. I'm not going to lie and say it was a perfect marriage, because no marriage is perfect. But at the end of the day it was as good as could be in my opinion.
I'm actually torn on wanting to be in a new relationship. Part of me desperately wants it. I am lonely, so very very lonely. But then there is the part of me that wants to protect myself from ever going through another loss like this. So do you live alone and be miserable the rest of your life? And I'm only 46, I could have another 46 years to live for all I know! Or do I open my heart up again and risk losing someone else I love that much?
I am currently a widow. I have been for just over six years. I hate it! I never thought I would get married. But then there was David. I'm not going to lie and say it was a perfect marriage, because no marriage is perfect. But at the end of the day it was as good as could be in my opinion.
I'm actually torn on wanting to be in a new relationship. Part of me desperately wants it. I am lonely, so very very lonely. But then there is the part of me that wants to protect myself from ever going through another loss like this. So do you live alone and be miserable the rest of your life? And I'm only 46, I could have another 46 years to live for all I know! Or do I open my heart up again and risk losing someone else I love that much?
Writing challenge day 10
10) A fruit you dislike, and why.
For me the fruit I dislike the most is the banana. I don't like the flavor, but I really don't like the texture of it. Every time I have tried making myself eat, even just a piece, I always end up gagging and nearly throwing up. I can stand the flavor, if I have to, but to eat an outright piece of a banana. No thank you!
For me the fruit I dislike the most is the banana. I don't like the flavor, but I really don't like the texture of it. Every time I have tried making myself eat, even just a piece, I always end up gagging and nearly throwing up. I can stand the flavor, if I have to, but to eat an outright piece of a banana. No thank you!
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Writing challenge day 9
9) Your feelings on ageism.
I think that stereotyping anyone based on age, race, sex, religion so forth is wrong. There are many 80 year olds who enjoying going to work and are healthy enough and smart enough to keep doing it. There are 30 year olds who aren't. It is all about the individual. And this whole putting people in a box because of age or whatever it comes from both sides. There are older people who think I'm to old I can't do that. But if they try they will see they can. You are only as old as you feel you are. We each need to start respecting ourselves. Maybe then others will see us differently and treat us with more respect.
I think that stereotyping anyone based on age, race, sex, religion so forth is wrong. There are many 80 year olds who enjoying going to work and are healthy enough and smart enough to keep doing it. There are 30 year olds who aren't. It is all about the individual. And this whole putting people in a box because of age or whatever it comes from both sides. There are older people who think I'm to old I can't do that. But if they try they will see they can. You are only as old as you feel you are. We each need to start respecting ourselves. Maybe then others will see us differently and treat us with more respect.
Writing challenge day 8
8) A book you love and one you didn't.
My favorite book is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I love the whole Harry Potter series, but that is my favorite book. So many emotions in it. Real growth for all of the characters. Just an excellent book to read.
A book I didn't like, I don't know it's name. It was a John Grisham book. Normally I enjoy his books. But in this one the innocent person ends up being put to death. Now I know this happens in real life all the time. But when I want to read a book for fun, I want the good guy to win in the end. I could see where this one was heading. Sneaked a peek at the end and never read the entire book.
Now as a Christian I feel I should have said the bible is my favorite book. But the bible to me is more like a text book. I love reading it and learning new things. But for tonight's purposes I only wanted to talk about true fiction.
My favorite book is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I love the whole Harry Potter series, but that is my favorite book. So many emotions in it. Real growth for all of the characters. Just an excellent book to read.
A book I didn't like, I don't know it's name. It was a John Grisham book. Normally I enjoy his books. But in this one the innocent person ends up being put to death. Now I know this happens in real life all the time. But when I want to read a book for fun, I want the good guy to win in the end. I could see where this one was heading. Sneaked a peek at the end and never read the entire book.
Now as a Christian I feel I should have said the bible is my favorite book. But the bible to me is more like a text book. I love reading it and learning new things. But for tonight's purposes I only wanted to talk about true fiction.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Writing challenge day 7
7) What tattoos you have and if they have meaning.
I currently have three tattoos. The first one I got while living in California and was homesick. It was during March Madness. It's a basketball hoop with a basketball going through it, with Indiana written at the top of it.
The second one was a gift from my husband for my birthday. It's Keith Urbans logos, a monkey holding a guitar over its head. The third one I got a couple of years ago down in New Orleans. I told the artist what I wanted and he drew up a design. It's a cross with a sunflower on it. Then it says Jeremiah 29:11 over the top of it. That is my favorite bible verse. It helped get me through a lot of days since my husband died.
I want to get another tattoo, well actually several more. I want a Chicago Cubs one, an Eeyoe one, and then something to do with my Lyme disease.
I currently have three tattoos. The first one I got while living in California and was homesick. It was during March Madness. It's a basketball hoop with a basketball going through it, with Indiana written at the top of it.
The second one was a gift from my husband for my birthday. It's Keith Urbans logos, a monkey holding a guitar over its head. The third one I got a couple of years ago down in New Orleans. I told the artist what I wanted and he drew up a design. It's a cross with a sunflower on it. Then it says Jeremiah 29:11 over the top of it. That is my favorite bible verse. It helped get me through a lot of days since my husband died.
I want to get another tattoo, well actually several more. I want a Chicago Cubs one, an Eeyoe one, and then something to do with my Lyme disease.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Writing challenge day 6
6) Someone who fascinates you, and why?
I would say it isn't just one person but an entire family. The Kennedy's have always fascinated me. I was born after both President Kennedy and his brother Bobby were assassinated. That alone made them fascinated. For not one but two brothers who were very high up in their political party to be killed is unheard of! Then add in everything about their brothers and sisters. Plus then my generation of Kennedy children. If America had a royal family, to me it was the Kennedy's. They were raised so different then anything I could comprehend. They wanted to make a difference in other people's lives. To leave a positive impact on this world.
And then there was the flip side. The scandals. All the things they did wrong. With a family that size it would be impossible for none of the bad to happen. And it should just how human they were. And while I would say my generation isn't nearly as well known. They are still there. They are still carrying on the family legacy. It's something I admired and respect. It can't be easy to be a Kennedy child, yet by and large they still try and do right by who they are and the family they are part of.
I would say it isn't just one person but an entire family. The Kennedy's have always fascinated me. I was born after both President Kennedy and his brother Bobby were assassinated. That alone made them fascinated. For not one but two brothers who were very high up in their political party to be killed is unheard of! Then add in everything about their brothers and sisters. Plus then my generation of Kennedy children. If America had a royal family, to me it was the Kennedy's. They were raised so different then anything I could comprehend. They wanted to make a difference in other people's lives. To leave a positive impact on this world.
And then there was the flip side. The scandals. All the things they did wrong. With a family that size it would be impossible for none of the bad to happen. And it should just how human they were. And while I would say my generation isn't nearly as well known. They are still there. They are still carrying on the family legacy. It's something I admired and respect. It can't be easy to be a Kennedy child, yet by and large they still try and do right by who they are and the family they are part of.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Writing challenge day 5
Fell asleep before I did this yesterday, so will do another one tonight.
5) Someplace you want to live, but have never been.
Do I want it to be somewhere warm or not? If we are going with a warmer climate I would lean towards Hawaii or Australia. But after living in Southern California and tiring of the almost always warm weather I don't feel I could live in a place that is warm most if not all the time. I would miss my seasons. Plus I don't do well in heat for long periods of time.
So that then leaves my two favorite places I would want to live, but have never been to. England or Ireland. I fluctuate back and forth between the two. They both would be so intriguing. Ireland is known for its beautiful countryside. But England would have more options I would think. Country or city or anything in between. Plus umm hello Harry Potter comes to us from England! Who wouldn't want to live where Harry Potter is from?
5) Someplace you want to live, but have never been.
Do I want it to be somewhere warm or not? If we are going with a warmer climate I would lean towards Hawaii or Australia. But after living in Southern California and tiring of the almost always warm weather I don't feel I could live in a place that is warm most if not all the time. I would miss my seasons. Plus I don't do well in heat for long periods of time.
So that then leaves my two favorite places I would want to live, but have never been to. England or Ireland. I fluctuate back and forth between the two. They both would be so intriguing. Ireland is known for its beautiful countryside. But England would have more options I would think. Country or city or anything in between. Plus umm hello Harry Potter comes to us from England! Who wouldn't want to live where Harry Potter is from?
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Writing challenge day 4
4. Ten interesting facts about yourself
I'm not sure I can come up with ten, but here we go.
A) I have one eye that is green and the other one is half brown half green. The doctor says this just happens sometimes, the pigment just splits. I've always say that since one sister has brown eyes and the other has green eyes, I'm the split vote and couldn't decide lol!
B) I moved from Indiana to California to do an internship at The Young and the Restless. And then I stayed for eight years. Working as a production assistant on a prime time show and another day time drama.
C) Wow this is hard. See I'm only at number three and I feel like there is nothing else interesting about me. Okay how about that I seem to make friends easily but I actually am uncomfortable having a lot of friends. I don't trust people because of being burned in the past so I always think anyone who wants to be friends with me only wants something from me.
D) and on that note I struggle with boy/girl relationships. I feel I'm not pretty and not deserving of being with a man. That I'm not good enough for a guy to want me just for who I am.
E) I enjoying writing, but the fear of failing keeps me from actually putting the stories in my he's down on paper, well on computer.
F) This one goes back up with B. While interning at Y&R I was used as an extra for a CBS soap special. They used to do this little episodes where Kristoff St. John (Neil on Y&R) would interview other soap stars. Well he was interviewing Shemar Moore and they wanted to film Shemare coming into the studio and make it look like he had fans waiting outside the studio to get his autograph. There were fans there, but the producers didn't feel like there were enough, so the interns working that day all ended up pretending to be fans wanting his autograph. That would be my 30 seconds of fame!
G) I met my husband while working at Universal Studios Hollywood.
H) WooHoo up to number #8! I would love to move to New Orleans. I feel confident I. That city. The people who live there look at each other differently then anywhere else in the U.S. But I don't want to move away from my mother. I've already done that once, won't do it again.
I) I got to go backstage and meet Kieth Urban in 2007. Amazing experience!
J) I have had many medical problems in the last year. The big ones being that I have chronic Lyme disease and occipital neuralgia. I have not gone a full day without a head since March 30, 2014. So as of this writing one year, seven months and five days with a headache of some type or another. This ranges from just a plain headache, to tension headaches, to migraines, to the occipital neuralgia headaches. It is quite simply unbearable!
Well I don't know if that is what this challenge was looking for, but that's what you are getting!
I'm not sure I can come up with ten, but here we go.
A) I have one eye that is green and the other one is half brown half green. The doctor says this just happens sometimes, the pigment just splits. I've always say that since one sister has brown eyes and the other has green eyes, I'm the split vote and couldn't decide lol!
B) I moved from Indiana to California to do an internship at The Young and the Restless. And then I stayed for eight years. Working as a production assistant on a prime time show and another day time drama.
C) Wow this is hard. See I'm only at number three and I feel like there is nothing else interesting about me. Okay how about that I seem to make friends easily but I actually am uncomfortable having a lot of friends. I don't trust people because of being burned in the past so I always think anyone who wants to be friends with me only wants something from me.
D) and on that note I struggle with boy/girl relationships. I feel I'm not pretty and not deserving of being with a man. That I'm not good enough for a guy to want me just for who I am.
E) I enjoying writing, but the fear of failing keeps me from actually putting the stories in my he's down on paper, well on computer.
F) This one goes back up with B. While interning at Y&R I was used as an extra for a CBS soap special. They used to do this little episodes where Kristoff St. John (Neil on Y&R) would interview other soap stars. Well he was interviewing Shemar Moore and they wanted to film Shemare coming into the studio and make it look like he had fans waiting outside the studio to get his autograph. There were fans there, but the producers didn't feel like there were enough, so the interns working that day all ended up pretending to be fans wanting his autograph. That would be my 30 seconds of fame!
G) I met my husband while working at Universal Studios Hollywood.
H) WooHoo up to number #8! I would love to move to New Orleans. I feel confident I. That city. The people who live there look at each other differently then anywhere else in the U.S. But I don't want to move away from my mother. I've already done that once, won't do it again.
I) I got to go backstage and meet Kieth Urban in 2007. Amazing experience!
J) I have had many medical problems in the last year. The big ones being that I have chronic Lyme disease and occipital neuralgia. I have not gone a full day without a head since March 30, 2014. So as of this writing one year, seven months and five days with a headache of some type or another. This ranges from just a plain headache, to tension headaches, to migraines, to the occipital neuralgia headaches. It is quite simply unbearable!
Well I don't know if that is what this challenge was looking for, but that's what you are getting!
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Writing challenge day 3
3) Your first kiss and first love.
My first kiss would have been in high school I think. It obviously didn't leave a large impression on me. If it had, surely I would remember all the details. My first love. Well how long do you want this to be?
I can't tell you the exact day I met David but it would have been sometime in 1996. We were both working at Universal Studios in California. I was a ride op and he was show crew. I had noticed him, I noticed everyone. But didn't think much of it. I'm not the type of person guys asked out. I felt it was because of my being so overweight, but I suspect my lack of confidence had a lot to do with it. But in April of 1997 David asked me out! Our first date was on April 19, 1996. And that was it for us. The date lasted over 12 hours and we were inseparable from that point on. We eloped to Las Vegas six weeks later. He was my first love, my best friend, and my soulmate!
David taught me that I was loveable, that I was worthy of being in a relationship. My David died on October 14, 2009. Twelve and a half years after we got married. He had been diagnosed with kidney failure in March of 2004. He went on dialysis in December of 2006. He was on dialysis for two years before getting the miracle of a kidney transplant from an anonymous living donor on December 30, 2008. From that point on he was as healthy as he had ever been in our marriage. He started going to the gym and working out. Life was looking up for us!
But then on October 7, 2009 he went to the bedroom not feeling well. I could hear him wheezing in the living room. I thought he was having an asthma attack. I ended up having to call 911, while on the phone with them he stopped breathing. When the EMS got there he was breathing again and he had a pulse. But when they went to put him on the board his heart stopped. It stopped again in the ambulance, and once more in the ER. All told there was a total of over 20 minutes without oxygen to his brain. They put him in a drug induced coma to see if that would help. He never woke up again. He was on a respirator and was matching the machine breath for breath. Until the morning of October 14. That morning he had stopped breathing completely and it was the machine that was keeping him alive. I had to do the one thing no person should ever have to do. I had to make the decision to take my love off of life support. I will always wonder if I made the right decision. Doctors know a lot, but they don't know everything. You read stories about others waking years and years later and they are fine. But if I had kept David on life support, I would have been keeping him alive for me. I just couldn't do that. He wouldn't have wanted that.
I miss him every single day. It's been over six years, sometimes it feels like yesterday, other times it feels like a life time ago. I just miss him! And I will always wonder if I made the right choice.
My first kiss would have been in high school I think. It obviously didn't leave a large impression on me. If it had, surely I would remember all the details. My first love. Well how long do you want this to be?
I can't tell you the exact day I met David but it would have been sometime in 1996. We were both working at Universal Studios in California. I was a ride op and he was show crew. I had noticed him, I noticed everyone. But didn't think much of it. I'm not the type of person guys asked out. I felt it was because of my being so overweight, but I suspect my lack of confidence had a lot to do with it. But in April of 1997 David asked me out! Our first date was on April 19, 1996. And that was it for us. The date lasted over 12 hours and we were inseparable from that point on. We eloped to Las Vegas six weeks later. He was my first love, my best friend, and my soulmate!
David taught me that I was loveable, that I was worthy of being in a relationship. My David died on October 14, 2009. Twelve and a half years after we got married. He had been diagnosed with kidney failure in March of 2004. He went on dialysis in December of 2006. He was on dialysis for two years before getting the miracle of a kidney transplant from an anonymous living donor on December 30, 2008. From that point on he was as healthy as he had ever been in our marriage. He started going to the gym and working out. Life was looking up for us!
But then on October 7, 2009 he went to the bedroom not feeling well. I could hear him wheezing in the living room. I thought he was having an asthma attack. I ended up having to call 911, while on the phone with them he stopped breathing. When the EMS got there he was breathing again and he had a pulse. But when they went to put him on the board his heart stopped. It stopped again in the ambulance, and once more in the ER. All told there was a total of over 20 minutes without oxygen to his brain. They put him in a drug induced coma to see if that would help. He never woke up again. He was on a respirator and was matching the machine breath for breath. Until the morning of October 14. That morning he had stopped breathing completely and it was the machine that was keeping him alive. I had to do the one thing no person should ever have to do. I had to make the decision to take my love off of life support. I will always wonder if I made the right decision. Doctors know a lot, but they don't know everything. You read stories about others waking years and years later and they are fine. But if I had kept David on life support, I would have been keeping him alive for me. I just couldn't do that. He wouldn't have wanted that.
I miss him every single day. It's been over six years, sometimes it feels like yesterday, other times it feels like a life time ago. I just miss him! And I will always wonder if I made the right choice.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Writing challenge day 2
2) Your earliest memory
My earliest memory? I'm not really sure. I have little glimpses of memories. Most from age 5 and up, I guess. When I was five I started kindergarten. For some reason the school bus I was going to be riding. On to get to school was different then my sisters. I'm thinking I was in afternoon kindergarten. Anyway my mom and I are standing out in the drive way waiting for the bus. We see it coming, I'm remember being excited because I was finally going to ride on the school bus! But then it drove right past us, not even slowing down! Well mom and I get in the car and we followed the bus, mom waved the driver down. She got me out of the car and put me in the bus. A very memorable first day of school!
My earliest memory? I'm not really sure. I have little glimpses of memories. Most from age 5 and up, I guess. When I was five I started kindergarten. For some reason the school bus I was going to be riding. On to get to school was different then my sisters. I'm thinking I was in afternoon kindergarten. Anyway my mom and I are standing out in the drive way waiting for the bus. We see it coming, I'm remember being excited because I was finally going to ride on the school bus! But then it drove right past us, not even slowing down! Well mom and I get in the car and we followed the bus, mom waved the driver down. She got me out of the car and put me in the bus. A very memorable first day of school!
30 day writing challenge
1. 5 problems with social media.
Here's the thing, I love social media. I'm an introvert and this is the best way for me to talk with my friends, without ever leaving my house! Plus I have made so many friends from around the world, that I never would have known had it not been for social media! However there are problems with it, for nothing is perfect!
A) it is impersonal. You never truly know who you are talking to. A great way for people to hurt others because it isn't face to face. You can get a way with a lot you wouldn't in person.
B) People put way to much info out there. I don't need to see their dirty laundry. Some things should be private!
C) I was always taught the two things you don't talk about are religion and politics. Now one one hand I have a much broader understanding of both because of social media. However I have also seen far to many hurtful things said on social media. Once it's out ther, you can't take it back!
D) I found out my father-in-law died on Facebook. Talk about a horrible way to learn that! True when my husband died I did blog about in and posted it on Facebook. But not until after I had made an effort to make sure all family members had been told as soon as it happened. I wa on the phone to his parents and siblings asap. Before I had left the hospital. My family was ther with me, and the ones who weren't were told by my sisters.
E) Social media can and has taken over people's lives. The amount of time people spend on their phones, their tablets, their laptops, etc., people don't seem to be able to go anywhere without their noses stuck in some device. We don't talk anymore. Not on the phone anyway. I remember as a kid talking on the phone to my girls friends for hours. Now it's short little texts back and forth. Even the writing is abbreviated. Children aren't learning social etiquette.
For me those are the five main things wrong with social media. I'm sure others have different things they see as wrong, but that's my list.
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